work and being yourself

I’ve been through a fairly busy time at my day job, and one specific request has made me think about work and being myself.  That’s one of themes of my( soon-to-be) ebook. “Wanted;Passionate Hero (Experience Preferred)”   

An short excert (I can’t spell this morning!) will show what I mean.  The premise is: a woman, Marcy, summons a childhood cowboy hero, Trey Gallant, to show her what  it means to be hero in her own life. There’s also a  villain    Grimley St. Clair, and Lili, a saloon girl, who  blossoms in Marcy’s  world. This is after they all come into Marcy’s world. Marcy works for the Kootenai Brown personal advertising agency. Marcy has just been asked by a colleague, Harvey about some minutes from a previous meeting that they attended together….

“Minutes from that meeting? I have enough trouble keeping track of what’s going on in the local situation. I can’t imagine keeping track of all of these other meetings. Of course, if I was to place these minutes in order in a properly marked binder…

Suddenly, the front door blows open, and thousands of pieces of paper blow in. I rush out into the front room, trying to put them in a binder that’s appeared in my hand.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Grimley St. Clair, his gun aimed at Trey, who’s now beside me.

I’m about to shout “No!” when Grimley’s attention is diverted to the pieces of paper swirling around at his feet. With a tight smile on his lips, he swoops down, picking up the papers which organize themselves into a neat pile in his hand. Then, with a gleeful sneer, he throws them down onto the floor—a worse mess than ever.

We hear a shot ring out and Trey pulls me down. We hide behind a chair. I see the mess of papers that Grimley left, and see Lili sorting through the papers with little interest. That won’t do. I make a mad dash for them. A bullet whizzes by just above my head. Trey pulls me back, as Lili joins us.

“Take it easy,” he says kindly. “Tell me, what are you afraid of?”

 “I have to earn a living,” I begin uneasily. “ I have to feign some interest in meetings and motions….as if I believe that detached intellectual statements with correct wording have anything to do with why anyone does anything.”

Lili says simply, “Of Course, they don’t.”

I stare at her, as I continue, “Let alone any reality beyond. And I just can’t bring myself to hide that. Not completely. “

“So why bother?” Trey asks.

“If I don’t feign the proper interest—if I’m not interested in all those correctly worded motions—then I’m being disloyal, not the kind of employee they really want. And no division of Kootenai Brown will employ me—not at a living wage.”

Grimley is sitting on the couch now, taking it all in.

“All you have to do is be yourself,” Lili says softly.

“It’s always worked for me,” Trey says.

It’s my turn to put my hand over my face as I hear Grimley crackling, “Yeah…and see how long you survive without a job!” 

 The above, of course, has to do with the bureaucratic nature of the job.I suspect any conventional job has–at least some of–this, as it’s how we organize work in our society.

The  incident that happened to me more recently had more to do with a rushed request that I agreed to, and then felt angry about. I talked to a friend who I respect who suggested that maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to it–as I wasn’t being honest with myself or others by doing so.  That’s hardly–being a hero in my own life. And yet, the request–though rushed–would not be seen as an unreasonable, given my profession. And I have managed to get done what needs to be done–in such a way that I feel somewhat relaxed this morning, and… even have the energy to do some blogging…before I complete the main part of the work request  this afternoon.. 

Just some thoughts



 I wanted to talk a bit about who I am and why I’m here on this blog. To that end, I filled in the public profile, assuming that somehow–it would appear on the blog, And I guess it doesn’t–or if it does–not in a way I can access at the moment…and I realize that’s not to say it isn’t there, or couldn’t be put there…however in an attempt to be gentle with myself (this for me is a whole new world, one in which I could get obsessed on one  technical detail, and spend hours getting nowhere on it )  I decided to do the old paste and cut and put the profile on my blog…that I can (hopefully) do..

Who I am

I’m older, and –as long as I can remember–fiction writing has been my passion. I was discouraged from doing it, however, because it was seen as being impractical.
Recently I completed a 55 page novella with the idea of publishing it as an ebook. The writing consultant that has worked with me on it–enthusiastically agrees. So now–it’s onto creating an appealing ebook cover and going through the actual process of submitting the book in the right form. 
The genre I’m writing in surprises me–fantasy. And the 
origins of this particular book even more– I wrote it at a time of crisis when I couldn’t concentrate on my more “serious” writing. And although it’s humorous (and I trust a good story), I found within a theme: What does it mean to be a hero? 
And I believe I’ve found my “niche”: writing novella length fantasy stories, with (hopefully) engaging characters that somehow touch on the theme: what does it mean to live this life in human form? to be human? 
Not that there are any set answers, of course…That’s the first “rule”…


It worked!…not to get  this posted…


I finally got around to giving my blog some background–I must admit–I dismissed the whole background section when I saw that some of them asked for money. Not that I’m all that poor–but I still still not comfortable with buying things online–if it involves using my VISA card. I tend to agree with the fellow in a local computer show–who said–quite frankly–there’s no system–that in the end–can’t be hacked. And I know there are prepaid cards that you can put a certain amount of money on, and use as a credit card to buy online. I need to look at getting one. Yet another learning.curve.

Another learning curve…I was talking to a work colleague yesterday; and he suggested that there was no reason that I couldn’t work in my profession full time and still have time to write. My response to that was–I’ve never known in my profession to do that and have a life beyond the job. It doesn’t mean to say–I can’t decide to do things differently.  In fact, the people I’m most directly in contact on the job–are sensible people–they might be quite open to my very modest  “double life”.  And I’m aware that the one thing that did transfer from my cowboy hero’s  world– in my novella  Wanted: “Passionate Hero (Experience Preferred)”–was this idea of coming to a sense of doing what is right, and doing  it–regardless of what other people do. Not in an arrogant way (I’m right, you’re wrong!) but simply as a matter of course. And it seems to be a lot easier for my cowboy hero to do it in his world–than it is for me to do it in mine!



follow up

I’ve been getting used to the site, and blogging–something totally new for me. I finally did find where I’m posted; and immediately went into–nobody’s reading this–and not surprising–I don’t have any pictures or inspiring story to tell…and I know–it’s a process–it takes time–at least for me–to get used to something, and  really get into it. Right now, just getting something  “out there” is–I have to admit–is an accomplishment for me.

Re: my ebook “Wanted: Passionate Hero (Experience Preferred),  I’m still waiting on (possible)  illustrations for my book cover.  It was helpful for me to read that ebook covers can be a challenge for a lot of  writers–so  it’s not “just me” ( a bad habit that I can get into) and I can let things unfold as they may, realizing that it’s all a new learning curve for me…

I have felt inspired by the stories I’ve read about people who have followed their dreams  and are now full time authors.  My goals are more modest: I’d love to be able to write even some of the time; if I could get into the ebook market–even in a relatively small way– I could work less at my “day job” and have more time to do what I love–fiction writing…


why I’m here…and what I’m actaully doing

why I’m here…and what I’m actually doing
I’m not even sure I’m doing this right or who will read this…and I guess that’s okay…I’ve always wanted to–to tell stories–ever since I can remember…but was discouraged–with the dictate (from my father): no-body in this family can make a living from writing, and you have to make a living so you can’t write…pretty harsh–and that was my father’s experience of the world–one that I try to get away from. I mean no disrespect–I just think that life’s not that black and white, and there are more opportunities out there than a bleak  all or nothing…which I guess is why I’m here. Last year–as sometimes happens–my job fell apart. At the time, I was working on an earnest writing project with a consultant  (about ten years earlier–I rediscovered how important writing was to me–and gave myself permission to work systematically); and all of a sudden–I didn’t have the energy to concentrate on it. Instead, my writing took a fanciful turn, and I began writing a novella (54-55 pages) which I would describe as fantasy/humorous. The log line (at one point I was actually trying to write screenplays!) is: Against her better judgment, a woman summons her childhood cowboy hero in order to teach her what it means to be a hero in her own life.  A friend suggested that it might make an ebook– a fun read–to help people relax after a hard day, etc. And–dare I say?–“the rest is history”…Actually, it’s not all that dramatic…i worked on it with my consultant, and now have a final draft–even a title– ” Wanted: Passionate Hero” with the words at an angle just beneath it–as if stamped on–“Experience preferred”. I’m  waiting on some possible sketches for the cover, and then hope to get together with a friend with a background in design—to get the cover done. I had a lot of fun writing “Passionate Hero” and hope that people have fun reading it. It also suggests to me an intriguing  theme. At the time, I was writing it, I didn’t feel like a much of a hero in my own life–and what does that mean anyway? In my cowboy’s hero’s world, it’s simple, straight forward; and his idea of a hero doesn’t exactly transfer into my we both find out… I’m anxious to get it finished; and I’ve been very busy lately. I did get a new job; and though it suits me better–it’s a lot more work–less time to write.  And I am coming up to some holiday time–first week of March–so I’m hoping to spend the time–working on my writing–working on the ebook cover, making some connections with other writers, setting up a website,etc. Which is why I’m here…my consultant suggested–this was a good place to start…and I’m glad to have the opportunity–even if I’m not exactly sure of which i’m doing mcpiper