I haven’t blogged for awhile…because I’m so busy, and though I do take time to write, I’m generally working on my next novella. And even that seems crammed into time “stolen” from various work projects. “Stolen” maybe isn’t a good word. I do get time off, though it’s not as well designated as in other jobs, and I suspect if I were to ask some of my work colleagues about their time off, they’d ask: “What time off?” And I do take time off–if only because I find writing fiction feeds my soul in a way nothing else does. Now, I said it…Immediately I’m aware–isn’t that what I suppose to say about my “day” job? And there are things my day job gives me that I love –it’s more part of me that I often realize. And I’m not so sure–it would be good if I was to simply write all the time. I do much better with a balance in my life. And that balance does involve–taking the time and energy to work on my fiction writing. When I do, I’m so much happier, and am more able be present in a positive way–in other area of my life,too. It’s just who I am.
Why do I feel guilty about it then?
I believe that I’ve allowed myself to let go of guilt on my day job…although just today, talking to a colleague I felt a tinge of guilt when I realized what his work week was like, and that I wasn’t exhausting myself in the same way. But of course, we all make choices–he’s makes his, and I make mine. I can leave it at that.
But then I feel guilty about my writing–I’m not accomplishing enough. I’m older–always writing in one way or another (I have this old box filled with story idea, journals, etc that I wrote when I “wasn’t writing” ) . And what
have I really done–a 55 page novella, the beginning, I hope, of a series, which is coming along, okay I guess… But it hardly seems significant when compared to other “more serious” writers.
And then the other ideas I have. I love the idea of setting up a blog/website for ideas that will never go anywhere. As mentioned in my previous blog, I’m always coming up with ideas that I love, I believe are really creative, and yet I doubt very much–from past experience–that anybody “out there” will pick them up and develop the “great” TV show, movie, even novel I know they could be. Julie, my writing consultant, told me–there likely is a website out there already for that. But I haven’t even had the time to have a serious look–as to what’s out there, let alone set something up.
I also got the idea to get a Kindle reader and start reading all the excellent book that are now online, which like mine, would never have been traditionally published. I really appreciate Paul Little’s ebook review site for highlighting these books–it’s his work that got me excited about doing this.
And my Kindle reader purchased a long time ago, finally out of its book, still awaits me to set it up… Maybe next week…
Got to go now
Thanks for reading