One of the more creative aspects of the writing I’m doing is that I can process what is going on in my real life by writing about in a way that’s fun and creative. Today a rude awakening about needed work on the car brought up for me finances/ vulnerability/the desire to be “looked after” –all reasons for my protagonist Connie to enter into the fantasy work of her “protector” Xavier. I’m also aware of yet another theme–putting up with things that just aren’t working, out of fear (what alternative is there?); and also in the mistaken hope or belief–that people will appreciate what the sacrifice I’m making.
The truth is that though I was confiscated for the use of my car on the job, the money that I got barely paid for insurance and gas; it didn’t begin to cover repairs, or contribute any thing towards the inevitable cost of car replacement. And that was how things were. And I accepted it, assuming that it was “fair”–at least as everyone else was concerned. Of course if I didn’t think it was fair, acting on my own behalf by bringing it up might have been the adult thing to do…and maybe it’s just another reminder–that things are quite possibly working out for the best re:leaving the job…something that Connie comes to realize, too.<
Another theme that has come up–and it does relate the the realization that I'm likely better off out of here–is a potential conflict over upgrading a sound system. It makes sense to do so; and the two men who put the original sound system see no reason for change. And in their resistance, I can see myself. I'm always surprised at how attached I get to things being as they are. And in this case, I have image of the two men's sense of worth unraveling–as the sound system is unraveled. We all want to believe what we do in important; and when changing conditions suggest that they may not matter any more–what do we do with that? It's bound to happen to all of us. And so I'm not at all certain that blanket disregard of the "casualties" of change is the right thing to do. Maybe what we need to do–is acknowledge that whatever we do–it's in a certain time and place that inevitably changes.That doesn't make it less valuable; it's just the reality of being human.
Interestingly enough, the above is more the theme of my first novella “WANTED:PASSIONATE HERO” where the 1960’s cowboy hero has to face the reality of change when he enters the protagonist Marcy’s world. And I may revisit it again…one of the joys of writing.
Just some thoughts